Elaine Martini
Elaine Martini 

Learning to Love

Symbology that leads us
by unknown paths
shining in the direction of the summit
Be happy, how?
Conflicts, hopes, hate, love
Time in thorns
Time in flowers
How many times we think about love?
How many more times we hate
But in fact of the value
little is felt
Love, resentment, disappointment
This is called adolescence
Time that the passion
flowers in our hearts
But soon comes the rain, the thunder, the storm
drags with it that sprout
already born insufficient, alone
imagining that the world
is a large garden
We end up discovering mysteries
never before revealed
That is it. Nothing more than mystery
that one day we will all know
not only know, but experience
This magical time
where everything is fantasy
and every day
we find ourselves in front of a wall:
The wall of passion

That was me 14 years of age and this poem one of the winners of a contest I took part at the time. When I read it now it almost feels as someone else wrote it but still some of the mysteries and dualities are yet present.

What have I learned about love since?

Love is a constant balance between give and take, love and hate. I learned the hard way that most important than loving another is to love myself first. Love is not your saviour, not the answer to all your problems. Love is a teacher, sometimes to support you others to challenge.

The only way you can truly give yourself to love is to know that you are enough and that you need no one to make you happy.

I learned that the magic is in being at someone’s side that loves, accepts and supports you even not knowing fully who you are. Because I also will never know completely who I am. Life is a discovery through experiences of who we truly are. 

What I’ll always keep in my heart is not so much the day we married surrounded by our closest friends and family. But the memory that brings tears to my eyes is the “I love you” softly said every night in my ear before I fall sleep.

Is the “we will do this together” when we moved to Spain with no job, family, friends or place to live; following our hearts will and having just one bag each with all our belongings. Or also when we decided it was time to come back to the UK and rebuild our lives from scratch.

“I’ll be here waiting for you” when I had to go back to Italy to resolve my issues not knowing how long it would take to be able to come back and start our life journey together.

“I’ll always support you in whatever you want to do” even when he doesn't share my same beliefs and spiritual path.

“I'm so proud of you, I always knew you could do it” said with a smile and emotion every time I achieve something in my life.

“Please be careful today” said everyday before I leave to work with a loving kiss and a hug. 

And there are also the unspoken words that many times say more than anything. The arm always ready to wrap around me when we are relaxing watching something on the TV. The hand ready to tolerate excruciating squeezes when we are watching a horror movie. My favourite desert that appears in the food shopping without me having asked for it.

Besides the biggest symbol of what love is to me is walking hand in hand every time we go somewhere. That’s how I chose to experience love.

The mystery I have discovered about love is that the magic is not in the big occasions but in the everyday details. Those are the true essence, beauty and gifts of love to be cherished and carried in our hearts. It’s from those that you can get the strength to go through the challenging times in life.

This is what I learned about love…

And most important is that this true kind of love can be found in many other relationships in your life, like your friends and family.

And I'm sure in 15-20 years time I’ll have discovered and unveiled new mysteries about it and that’s what makes life magical and flourishing…

Happy Valentines Day and make sure you appreciate and celebrate the love that surrounds you in your life!



One of my short stories was selected to be in the upcoming book 365 Tiny Love Challenges from Tiny Buddha







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© Elaine Martini